Self-Love: Forged by Fire
This piece was a serendipitous union of timing and willingness, to close the chapter of my previous marriage and subsequent divorce. After many years of self-work and healing, the Universe sent me an email that helped me close out 2025 with encouragement to step in 2026
feeling lighter, and ready to bookend this chapter. I wish this healing process didn't take so long.
There is certainly still more healing and self-love to come, but I finally felt ready to let go of some thoughts and belongings that were taking up too much space, one of those items being my previous wedding dress.
Rebecca, the owner of Shop MOMU, sent out an invitation to participate in a gallery show around the theme of "love", and as I pondered about what current pieces I had that I could submit, my brain started compiling a list of things that I had been planning to get rid of: my previous wedding dress, some tie dye, some black paint, some spray paint, and a large canvas that I had thrifted and painted pink. These could all come together as one piece. It became my mission to utilize what I had on-hand and spend the least amount of money possible to "trash the dress", but make it art.
The piece became a cathartic outlet and a mirror of my experiences.
I spent one last time wearing the dress while it was white, sitting on the couch, eating pizza with my dog Lola, and watching the episode of Friends where they all wear wedding dresses.
I laid out a plastic tarp in my studio and threw tie dye on it, while I listened to The Used. My 13 year old, emo heart was so content. It felt so freeing to change the meaning of this garment. The dye looked like a raku pottery effect at first. I contemplated burning the dress, or writing swear words on it (I still might). But I thought I'd keep it a little more artistic, and a little less obvious, for now...
My intention with the tie dye was to create a boulder opal effect. I liked the idea of a gem being unearthed; that and I'm just obsessed with opals. (Hence my business name: Opal Hour Photo) When I left the dress to dry, the colors were really soft and blended. When I came back, the darker dyes had pooled to the top and created some really harsh lines. I honestly hated it. I left the dress for a few days and then I started filling in some of the lighter spaces with opal-inspired blues and purples. I added a few details with glitter. But I soon found myself feeling burned out and wanting to be done with the piece. The dying process had served its healing purpose and I just wanted to move on.
The backdrop for the dress is about 5' wide x 7' tall. To go with the boulder opal inspiration (and my two cans of black paint), I wanted to create a backdrop that the dress would stand out against. I liked the idea of hot pink and oranges coming out through cracks in the black, andddd that's what color of left over spray paint I had. Then I started thinking about how the dress represents rebirth, and pondering how I could integrate that theme into the piece. I felt like a phoenix was too obvious, and a giant snake (ouroboros) didn't fit either, but I liked the idea of fire, which evolved into lava.
I love the idea of something strong enough to melt and reshape metal, paired with the soft, delicate nature of an opal.
Et viola! A piece mirroring a marriage that...
- "Didn't go as planned"
- "I thought would look a lot different"
- "I wished I thought out more"
- "I learned a lot from"
- "Reshaped me into a new version of myself"
If you're interested in purchasing the art installation please email: brie@opalhour.com
The Quintessential White Dress
I’ve tried to convince myself that a white wedding dress is stupid,
Or overrated,
But I bought one.
I only planned to buy one.
I bought it in an unconventional way.
I didn’t go to a fancy dress store with my entourage of doting female fans,
A local designer made something beautiful that I loved,
A white “prom dress” that I could afford,
She kindly welcomed me into her home, so I could try on the dress,
It was only available online.
I had done her sister’s hair for her wedding,
Where she wore the same dress design.
Her sister was kind of enough to tell me where she got the dress,
And even kinder to have no hard feelings when I asked if it would be okay for us to have matching wedding dresses,
A known point of contention in the girl world.
In the designer’s home bathroom I tried on the dress that would become mine,
There were no oo’s, awe’s, or tears,
Just a beautiful dress that I knew I wanted,
In my size,
Well, almost my size. (They'd have to cut off a foot or two of fabric.)
My family worked so hard to make our wedding day special,
We spent nearly every weekend working in the backyard (our soon to be ceremony & reception location),
By we, I mean me and my family,
Not him, nor his.
We found a huge dead rat on the first day of yard clean up,
If that’s not a bad omen I don’t know what is.
But I wasn’t much for signs or red flags back then,
I still had a lot to learn.
I had everything I wanted,
The dream wedding flowers,
The dream wedding hair (that I suffered months of bleaching and an allergic reaction to),
The dream “flower girls”, which included our new puppy Olive and my girl Lola,
The dream wedding theme of Disney’s Up,
With darling handmade Up wedding cake toppers, from a friend,
The dream wedding ring,
A rose gold and opal ring that had to be replaced because the opal faded to a hideous yellow-green (yet, another sign),
The dream groom…
…but that dream quickly faded.
Shortly before the wedding we had to say goodbye to my family dog, Lucky,
A passing my soon to be groom couldn’t be bothered to stay and support me for,
He left to California on a non-urgent, easily-rescheduled "work" trip.
During our ceremony I put his ring on the wrong finger.
I sobbed uncontrollably on the way to the alter,
My parents literally had to guide me and hold me up,
I thought it was normal to cry at your wedding,
Though he didn't cry,
And he used that as fuel in his new "comedy" routines later in our marriage and eventual divorce,
In hind sight, my body knew something was off.
I was terrified to travel outside of the country for the first time, on our honeymoon,
He was upset that I felt anything other than happy,
He made me feel guilty for being afraid.
I had this codependent dream that married life would be spending every day and waking moment together when we came home,
It was not.
I had this very skewed and privileged view about a marriage being this indulgent journey and constant adventure,
When that wasn’t the case,
I was heartbroken,
But I tried to make it look like we lived that life, on social media.
I was really sad.
I numbed what felt like my “ungrateful” pain, by napping all the time.
I buried myself in work and my clients’ personal lives,
Subconsciously I hoped that if I made myself rich and fixed other people’s problems,
That I would become "good enough" for him and that my problems would go away.
They didn’t.
I’m still working to repair my relationship with money and my self worth.
This dress represented the life I thought I would have,
The person I thought I knew,
Or rather the version of him that I hoped he could be,
The “perfect” dress didn’t bring me a “perfect” husband or a “perfect” life,
I did.
I gave myself a new one.
I left the marriage that I shrunk myself for over and over again,
Though not without a fight,
And not by my suggestion.
The exit and subsequent trauma unpacking destroyed me.
Six years later I am finally learning what it feels like to be myself,
I wish I could say “again”,
But this is a new meeting,
Which is both sad and inspiring.
So many versions of my past self have been made to feel small, inconvenient, or not enough,
This rebirth has not been one easy-to-mark moment,
But rather a compounded collection of moments where I chose myself, and new beginnings,
Over and over again.
Self-love doesn’t come with a dress, or a ceremony, or a honeymoon,
Though it absolutely fucking should!
Society (and especially Utah culture) puts so much pressure and shame around finding your “better half”,
I think that your “better half” is the you, who is constantly evolving and waiting to be discovered.
You are whole as fuck even if you don’t feel like it right now.
You are complete,
Worthy,
Special,
Deserving of celebration,
All on your own.
You ARE the occasion.
You ARE the moment.
You ARE the person you’ve been waiting for.
Stop waiting for the perfect proposal, from the perfect person, with the perfect ring,
Be the person that you’ve been waiting for.
Show up for yourself.
Show others how to show up for you.
Accept nothing less than what you deserve.
Buy yourself the damn dress, the damn ring, the damn *insert whatever your heart desires here*.
Who says you have to wait for someone to do those things?
Forge your own love story.
